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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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iEmily

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iEmily
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 573
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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iEmily's favorite FMLs

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (11444) - you deserved it (38166)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod had slipped in there. I didn't find my iPod, but I did find an old utility knife blade. With my fingers. FML

#13858571 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (2966)

On 11/15/2010 at 10:25pm - health - by n0taplumber - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13857180 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (4299)

On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a headache when I woke up for school. I had final exams that day, so I took what I thought were 2 advils. They were two sleeping pills. FML

#13837654 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (11349) - you deserved it (14959)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML

#13836809 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (2059)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:39am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML

#13825613 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (21384) - you deserved it (1839)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by blueheron93 (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

#13766366 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (5948)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm - misc - by beforegirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (15614) - you deserved it (5684)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend bailed on our one year anniversary celebration because his ex girlfriend asked him to go to a wedding with her and pose as her fake boyfriend. FML

#13733818 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (2527)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:52am - love - by iheartexes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (16755) - you deserved it (10122)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

#13651777 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (3862)

On 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm - kids - by idiot - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

#13646131 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (1932)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:33am - love - by Stephie2009 - United States

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

#13636513 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (2257)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by Kristinmarsh08 - United States (Texas)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (19768) - you deserved it (2068)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

#13633122 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (1686)

On 10/28/2010 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)