Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

iDirtyDianaX

Search for a member

iDirtyDianaX
  • Town/Country : Dat place you know?, North America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 May 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2603
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About iDirtyDianaX : Hi! I'm Diana :)

iDirtyDianaX's last visitors

Countryboy_1994obeykiddsmallsWell8302NomNomCupcakeStarter

iDirtyDianaX's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of iDirtyDianaX's badges

iDirtyDianaX's favorite FMLs

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (4146)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

#13640932
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (4047)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

#13273584
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24466) - you deserved it (2432)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18302) - you deserved it (1823)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that I drunkenly texted my boss yesterday asking for nude pictures. He sent them. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow. FML

#12967216
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11238) - you deserved it (26018)

On 09/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by WTF?!?! - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42880) - you deserved it (6018)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

#12838933
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49420) - you deserved it (3101)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31595) - you deserved it (5906)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

#12616520
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48185) - you deserved it (2705)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5222) - you deserved it (31626)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28717) - you deserved it (11639)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

#12085678
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (14883)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by juli (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

#9645798
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (7191)

On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. Having a moment of insanity, I crumbled and threw the receipt at the cashier, while yelling "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2864) - you deserved it (44431)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: