About iDaniel525 : I. FUCKING. LOVE. TO. SWIM.
-Oh, and all my FMLS that were not published are 100% legit. Apparently, my life doesn't suck that much to have them published.
Up and coming moderator
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50 quality responses
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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (1653)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7957) - you deserved it (24142)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15530) - you deserved it (1312)
On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18094) - you deserved it (7466)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37433) - you deserved it (6764)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (6240)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16973) - you deserved it (3139)
On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16049) - you deserved it (2530)
On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16450) - you deserved it (1787)
On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15105) - you deserved it (6843)
On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33974) - you deserved it (1915)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17399) - you deserved it (1845)
On 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17983) - you deserved it (4402)
On 12/21/2011 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13881) - you deserved it (19210)
On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada
Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34818) - you deserved it (2812)
On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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