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About iChel413 : I am 19, a mommy & wifey, and a college student. (:. Life. Is. Good.
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TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND AN I WERE GETTING INTIMATE FIR THE FRST TIME. HE WAS SUCKING ON MY BOOB, EVERYTHING WAS GOING GOOD. HE SUDDENLY STOPPED AN STARTED CHOKING REALLY BAD. HE THOUGHT MILK WAS COMING OUT. TURNS OUT, IT WAS JUST HIS GUM. THE MOMENT WAS RUINED. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was releasd from an institution. She had leftover Christma cookie so I began snacking on them. They tastd a bit off so I inquird about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she usd Crayola marker to give them color. FML
Today... I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food an receipt. In a moment of insanity... I threw the receipt at the cashier an yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber an get the hell out of dodge... only to remember my car was in park. FML
Today... I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from mah life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce... has 2 wild kids... packed on 75 lbs... has $25...000 in debt an is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
TODAY, I WAS WATCHING TV. DURING A VERY LONG COMMERCIAL BREAK, I FOUND MAH BROTHERS PSP CHARGER NEXT TO ME. OUT OF BOREDOM I PUTTD MAH TONGUE ON THE END ON THE METAL. NOT ONLY DID IT FRY MAH TONGUE BUT FOUND ITS WAY TO MAH METAL FILLING IN MAH TOOTH. I NOW HAVE A SORE TONGUE AN A THROBBING TOOTHACHE. FML
Today , mah wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer , so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says , ( What are you thinking? ) I reply , ( Dead puppies. ) This apparently turned her off more than it did me , because she got out of the bed.
Today, I learnd that there is a limit to being thrifty!! For example buying a pan from the dollar store is most likely going to cost a lot more than a few dollars!! Especially when it melts all over your stove which you now have to replace!! FML
Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid 4 his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, ( Thank you so much, I appreciate it. ) He stared at me with a werd look 4 a moment, and then said, ( Can I just get that in quarters? )
yesterday I wasn't feeling too well!! I decidd to bring my laptop wit me to te batroom, because I figurd I would be in tere for a wile!! Tings were going great, until I felt a burp coming!! Next ting I know, my computer is coverd wit puke!! FML
Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac requred me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, ( It's disturbing how good u r at that. ) real FML
Today... I ran out of mah usual looool hand lotion that I use fir 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us mah after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently... mah member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients... and has now swollen to the size of mah fist. mega FML
Today, I totalld my car . I flippd it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process . I was in extreme pain and unable to move . It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic . The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
Friday 27 March 2015