About iBurnTrees : My cat isn't dead, that's how he sleeps =^_^=
i drive a 2004 GTO, sell cats on the black market and own the globe trotters. Psh, and you thought you were a boss...
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (3593)
On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31647) - you deserved it (7551)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (5129)
On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17540) - you deserved it (2284)
On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was walking down the street in downtown Charleston where there are a lot of horse-drawn carriage tours and I decided to pick up some litter. Some of it was in a puddle of water, but after I picked up the trash, I realized the puddle was horse urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17535) - you deserved it (6543)
On 10/23/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Leash (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33142) - you deserved it (2269)
On 10/22/2009 at 1:53am - love - by uneek_3225 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7333) - you deserved it (23678)
On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53001) - you deserved it (2691)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was visiting my friends new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughters. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (5003)
On 06/24/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (109110)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79993) - you deserved it (21095)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6361) - you deserved it (26143)
On 01/16/2009 at 3:34am - intimacy - by horny bastard - United States (Minnesota)
Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7981) - you deserved it (56889)
On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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