iBurnTrees

Search for a member

Offline (the 10/05/2014 at 5:49am)

iBurnTrees

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 January 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 731
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About iBurnTrees : My cat isn't dead, that's how he sleeps =^_^=
i drive a 2004 GTO, sell cats on the black market and own the globe trotters. Psh, and you thought you were a boss...

iBurnTrees's page activity

Visits<b>MayankGupta</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:42am<b>Formula86</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:41pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:57am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:16pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:50am

iBurnTrees's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of iBurnTrees's badges

iBurnTrees's favorite FMLs

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

by dentallycorrect / 08/19/2010 at 1:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 8:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

by youlyingjerk / 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street in downtown Charleston where there are a lot of horse-drawn carriage tours and I decided to pick up some litter. Some of it was in a puddle of water, but after I picked up the trash, I realized the puddle was horse urine. FML

by Leash / 10/23/2009 at 12:22am / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

by uneek_3225 / 10/22/2009 at 1:53am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

by limecat / 10/06/2009 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 10:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

by aviators / 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I realized that instead of actually trying to get a job, save money, lose weight, and get thin so I could maybe attempt to date again; I'd rather spend my money on a Fleshlight. FML

by horny bastard / 01/16/2009 at 3:34am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML

by sexaddict / 01/07/2009 at 3:16am / Intimacy