iBiteRoses

Search for a member

iBiteRoses

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 February 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5760
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 57 posted

About iBiteRoses : I've noticed everyone clicking "You Deserved It" on everything even if it's something the person didn't deserve. Are people just mad because they aren't getting the new iPhone for Christmas? LOL

iBiteRoses's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 1:46am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 4:45am<b>jakeSpn</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 5:33am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:09pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:02pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 3:20pm<b>mikib</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:31am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:50am<b>rahatb98</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:16am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:05am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:56pm<b>jatinhateslife</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:50pm<b>lat187</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:50pm<b>addioty</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:31am<b>ale1139</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:45pm<b>partyrockercat</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>aruden</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:43am<b>jonloran</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:14am

Fucked!<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 10:45am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:50am<b>ale1139</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:45am

iBiteRoses's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of iBiteRoses's badges

iBiteRoses's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

by anonymous / 10/27/2009 at 9:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

by Rob / 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm / Health

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML

by MissMSE / 09/18/2009 at 4:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got 4 "photo enforced" speeding tickets in the mail. It was from the car that was stolen from me three weeks ago. FML

by SlowLane / 09/11/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

by englishclasshigh / 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

by Boltz719 / 08/23/2009 at 1:10am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2009 at 7:13am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

by joe1234 / 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "god told him to." What god didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML

by hrtbrkn / 07/16/2009 at 9:44am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

by fd_uplife / 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a meeting at work. I had to give a presentation to my boss and the other attendants. My first subject was on how my 5 year old son got to my briefcase and replaced the contents of it with crayons and a stuffed teddy bear. FML

by Andrew / 06/29/2009 at 6:31am / Canada / Work