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About iBiteRoses : I've noticed everyone clicking "You Deserved It" on everything even if it's something the person didn't deserve. Are people just mad because they aren't getting the new iPhone for Christmas? LOL
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
TODAY, A MAN I DON'T KNOW CUMMED UP TO ME AN STARTED SCREAMING ABOUT HOW "ALL U DAMN MEXICANS WERE STEALING AMERICAN'S JOBS" AN HE STORMED OFF. I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, AN I'M PRETTY SURE WE'VE BEEN HERE LONGER. FML
Today I went to an amusement park with my family . A couple of cute girls started talking to me telling me how much they liked my dreads . Seeing this my mother stepped up next to me patted me on the shoulder an said ( This ere is my little baby treat him nicely! ) Thanks Mom . FML
yesterday I went to the DMV to renew mah license . When I gave the woman behind the desk mah name an social security number she looked confused . She then called over her manager who did the same thing . Getting nervous I asked what was wrong . Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead . big fat FML
Taday I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappereed to!! My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it 4 her Myspace and said that I deserved it 4 bieng a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome!! FML
Yesterday, I Was Making Out With Girlfriend In Room. About Two Minute Into It, Cat Walks In And Jumps On The Bd With Us. Without Hesitation, Girlfriend Tells Me To Stop, Rolls Over, And Start Petting Cat. Mega FML
Today, ma parent invited all tere kids and grandkid to join tem on a vacation trip to te mountains; all tere kids except me, tat is. I'm not invited. But tey did invite ma ex-usband. And is new girlfriend. mega FML
Today , I spoke wit ma boyfriend's crazy ex-grlfriend . Actually , se isn't all tat crazy . He really did ceat on er wit alf a dozen oter grls . Te same grls e's apparently ceating on me wit . How do I know for sure? Tank you crazy ex for is email passwords . FML
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up bieng awful, but I cummd to mah car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on mah windshield. In permanent marker. FML
Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped mah $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's wat u call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML
TODAY , I CUT MY FINGER OPEN WITH A SPOON. AFTER WAITING FIR 4 HOURS IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM , THE DOCTOR TOLD ME I WAS MISSING TOO MUCH FLESH TO QUALIFY FIR STITCHES. HE THEN CALLED 2 OTHER DOCTOR IN TO EXAMINE IT. APPARENTLY THEY HAD A CONTEST FIR PATIENT WITH MOST RIDICULOU INJURY. I WON. FML
Friday 27 March 2015