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iBiteRoses

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iBiteRoses
  • Town/Country : Portland, Oregon
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 February 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1753
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 57 posted

About iBiteRoses : I've noticed everyone clicking "You Deserved It" on everything even if it's something the person didn't deserve. Are people just mad because they aren't getting the new iPhone for Christmas? LOL

iBiteRoses's last visitors

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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iBiteRoses's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (5338)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML

#17115865
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40590) - you deserved it (8956)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by krissy8799 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML

#17035825
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29336) - you deserved it (6781)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33630) - you deserved it (2353)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35161) - you deserved it (2785)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

#16876120
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44754) - you deserved it (6144)

On 06/27/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by grizzlybear (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30660) - you deserved it (10624)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46326) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

#16451971
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20614) - you deserved it (56140)

On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML

#16369403
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31259) - you deserved it (5005)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:45am - animals - by FeedMe (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

#16310118
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (5287)

On 05/23/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Badaboom (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (9375)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (6376)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

#15811934
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21484) - you deserved it (9799)

On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)



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