iBiteRoses

Search for a member

iBiteRoses

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 February 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5196
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 57 posted

About iBiteRoses : I've noticed everyone clicking "You Deserved It" on everything even if it's something the person didn't deserve. Are people just mad because they aren't getting the new iPhone for Christmas? LOL

iBiteRoses's page activity

Visits<b>slappygecko</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:09pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:02pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 3:20pm<b>mikib</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:31am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:50am<b>rahatb98</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:16am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:05am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:56pm<b>jatinhateslife</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:50pm<b>lat187</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:50pm<b>addioty</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:31am<b>ale1139</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:45pm<b>partyrockercat</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>aruden</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:43am<b>jonloran</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:14am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Dxstant</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 8:33pm<b>fire_flies</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 5:01pm

Fucked!<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:50am<b>ale1139</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:45am

iBiteRoses's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of iBiteRoses's badges

iBiteRoses's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

by wheezy / 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

by Andrew / 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Work

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

by ifailsobadly / 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 10:05am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

by knolan / 07/20/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Intimacy