iBiteRoses

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iBiteRoses

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 February 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5711
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 57 posted

About iBiteRoses : I've noticed everyone clicking "You Deserved It" on everything even if it's something the person didn't deserve. Are people just mad because they aren't getting the new iPhone for Christmas? LOL

iBiteRoses's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 1:46am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 4:45am<b>jakeSpn</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 5:33am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:09pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:02pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 3:20pm<b>mikib</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:31am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:50am<b>rahatb98</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:16am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:05am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:56pm<b>jatinhateslife</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:50pm<b>lat187</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:50pm<b>addioty</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:31am<b>ale1139</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:45pm<b>partyrockercat</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>aruden</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:43am<b>jonloran</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:14am

Fucked!<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 10:45am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:50am<b>ale1139</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:45am

iBiteRoses's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of iBiteRoses's badges

iBiteRoses's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML

by anonymous / 10/19/2011 at 8:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

by Cassandra / 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

by Eet- / 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

by Hoggiebear / 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

by nooooooooob / 10/05/2011 at 4:59am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

by rufusthepenis / 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 7:44am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

by lostlove / 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

by hihaay / 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm / United States / Transportation