iBiteRoses

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iBiteRoses

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 February 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5780
  • Number of comments : 283
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 57 posted

About iBiteRoses : I've noticed everyone clicking "You Deserved It" on everything even if it's something the person didn't deserve. Are people just mad because they aren't getting the new iPhone for Christmas? LOL

iBiteRoses's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 1:46am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 4:45am<b>jakeSpn</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 5:33am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:09pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:02pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 3:20pm<b>mikib</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:31am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:50am<b>rahatb98</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:16am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:05am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:56pm<b>jatinhateslife</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:50pm<b>lat187</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:50pm<b>addioty</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:31am<b>ale1139</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:45pm<b>partyrockercat</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>aruden</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:43am<b>jonloran</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:14am

Fucked!<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 10:45am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:50am<b>ale1139</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:45am

iBiteRoses's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of iBiteRoses's badges

iBiteRoses's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

by shroomda / 06/29/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

by OfCourse / 06/27/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

by Hackmanjones / 06/13/2009 at 10:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML

by kilo1_13 / 06/03/2009 at 9:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 12:08am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

by Jdub / 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML

by sounfair90 / 05/27/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

by wordmalfunction / 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work