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iAmPaul

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iAmPaul

104Fucked!

iAmPauliAmPaul
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4379
  • Number of comments : 443
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About iAmPaul : Hey, my name's Paul and I'm 19 years old. I've been on FML since March 21st, 2010. I'm Canadian, so I will literally die if I don't say "eh" at least 5 times a day. I'm in university, doing a BSSc. in economics with a minor in music. I skipped a grade, graduated from highschool at 16 and I have an I.Q. of 160. I've been playing the flute for 10 years. I'm bilingual (English and French) and I speak and understand Spanish pretty well. I like to post on FML occasionally but nowadays I'm pretty busy with school. I workout at least 5 times a week (yes, really). I'm 6'1" and 155 lbs. Most of the time I can be found playing video games on my Xbox 360 and Xbox One. I'm quite the achievement hunter, too; over 67,000G. I'm aiming to get all of the FML badges. Message me if you want to talk about pretty much anything. :)

Just another victim of the ambient mortality.

Inherently impermanent.

iAmPaul's page activity

Visits<b>dillonfi</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 4:32pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:14am<b>Funburn</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 6:15pm<b>__Dreamers__</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:30pm<b>enkt</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:49pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:03am<b>Krihssy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:12pm<b>mr_hoang</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:38pm<b>alisha0215</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:06pm<b>ElMarsho</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:53pm<b>FarmerGirl420</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:02am<b>asdfghjklmoo</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 5:59am<b>dropbeatsnotbomb</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 2:19am<b>umerin</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:58am<b>quarky</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:36am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:04am<b>lickastick</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:34pm<b>Buried_Queenz</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:26pm

Fucked!<b>NineeCat</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:14am<b>terspal</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:22am<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:59am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:48am<b>brvnnx</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:24pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:31pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:48pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:39am<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:11pm<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>cyborghinge</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:27am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:19am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:10am<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:23pm

iAmPaul's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of iAmPaul's badges

iAmPaul's favorite FMLs

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15655) - you deserved it (41977)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31733) - you deserved it (2339)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35768) - you deserved it (3137)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML

#21359104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (1950)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:46am - animals - by Animal cruelty (man) - Australia

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37030) - you deserved it (2619)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51621) - you deserved it (4375)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30743) - you deserved it (5258)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41066) - you deserved it (4619)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (2241)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34025) - you deserved it (3919)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42353) - you deserved it (3471)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40131) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33337) - you deserved it (2648)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML

#21326703
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (2848)

On 12/29/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by happytuckerhappy (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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