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iAmPaul

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iAmPaul

101Fucked!

iAmPauliAmPaul
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3768
  • Number of comments : 424
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About iAmPaul : Hey, my name's Paul and I'm 19 years old. I've been on FML since March 21st, 2010. I'm Canadian, so I will literally die if I don't say "eh" at least 5 times a day. I've finished my third year of university, doing an honours degree in statistics with a minor in music. I skipped a grade, graduated from highschool at 16 and I have an I.Q. of 160. I've been playing the flute for 10 years. I'm bilingual (English and French) and I speak and understand Spanish pretty well. I like to post on FML occasionally but nowadays I'm pretty busy with school. I workout at least 5 times a week (yes, really). I'm 6'1" and 155 lbs. Most of the time I can be found playing video games on my Xbox 360 and Xbox One. I'm quite the achievement hunter, too; over 64,000G. I'm aiming to get all of the FML badges. Message me if you want to talk about pretty much anything. :)

Just another victim of the ambient mortality.

Inherently impermanent.

iAmPaul's page activity

Visits<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:02pm<b>notcarwyn</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:44am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:31am<b>clrichmond2009</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:59pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:48am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Phantomisr</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:46pm<b>wildirishrose</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:27pm<b>brvnnx</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:24pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:47am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:22am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:48am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 12:06am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:16pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:18am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:56pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:41pm

Fucked!<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:48am<b>brvnnx</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:24pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:31pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:48pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:39am<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:11pm<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>cyborghinge</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:27am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:19am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:10am<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:23pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:43am<b>kudoosh</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:21pm<b>Gunny20</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:43pm

iAmPaul's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of iAmPaul's badges

iAmPaul's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49510) - you deserved it (4195)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (5129)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39224) - you deserved it (3933)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (1987)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (3718)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39039) - you deserved it (3064)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40021) - you deserved it (2466)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33276) - you deserved it (2644)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML

#21326703
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you deserved it (2842)

On 12/29/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by happytuckerhappy (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39374) - you deserved it (4372)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

#21320813
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31764) - you deserved it (2413)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29991) - you deserved it (5733)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML



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