Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iAmPaul

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

iAmPaul

104Fucked!

iAmPauliAmPaul
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4374
  • Number of comments : 443
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About iAmPaul : Hey, my name's Paul and I'm 19 years old. I've been on FML since March 21st, 2010. I'm Canadian, so I will literally die if I don't say "eh" at least 5 times a day. I'm in university, doing a BSSc. in economics with a minor in music. I skipped a grade, graduated from highschool at 16 and I have an I.Q. of 160. I've been playing the flute for 10 years. I'm bilingual (English and French) and I speak and understand Spanish pretty well. I like to post on FML occasionally but nowadays I'm pretty busy with school. I workout at least 5 times a week (yes, really). I'm 6'1" and 155 lbs. Most of the time I can be found playing video games on my Xbox 360 and Xbox One. I'm quite the achievement hunter, too; over 67,000G. I'm aiming to get all of the FML badges. Message me if you want to talk about pretty much anything. :)

Just another victim of the ambient mortality.

Inherently impermanent.

iAmPaul's page activity

Visits<b>dillonfi</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 4:32pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:14am<b>Funburn</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 6:15pm<b>__Dreamers__</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:30pm<b>enkt</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:49pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:03am<b>Krihssy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:12pm<b>mr_hoang</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:38pm<b>alisha0215</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:06pm<b>ElMarsho</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:53pm<b>FarmerGirl420</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:02am<b>asdfghjklmoo</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 5:59am<b>dropbeatsnotbomb</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 2:19am<b>umerin</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:58am<b>quarky</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:36am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:04am<b>lickastick</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:34pm<b>Buried_Queenz</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:26pm

Fucked!<b>NineeCat</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 9:14am<b>terspal</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:22am<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:59am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:48am<b>brvnnx</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:24pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:31pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:48pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:39am<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:11pm<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>cyborghinge</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:27am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:19am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:10am<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:23pm

iAmPaul's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of iAmPaul's badges

iAmPaul's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

#21446464
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (1564)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:02am - work - by fishingforubies2 - Aruba

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (3248)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (2243)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

#21428256
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (4563)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by pregnantfatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends decided to throw a going away party because I'm moving. It would have been great if I had actually been invited. FML

#21424928
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26872) - you deserved it (2205)

On 06/12/2015 at 10:25am - misc - by rcarn - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (4772)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that we wouldn't move in together as we had planned to do for a long time. His mother forbade it. He is 27. FML

#21407402
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (2853)

On 05/09/2015 at 7:03pm - love - by forever alone (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (4315)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

#21377727
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (2696)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33085) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: