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iAmPaul

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iAmPaul

94Fucked!

iAmPauliAmPaul
  • Town/Country : Ottawa, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3483
  • Number of comments : 420
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 14 posted

About iAmPaul : Hey, my name's Paul and I'm 19 years old. I've been on FML since March 21st, 2010. I'm Canadian, so I will literally die if I don't say "eh" at least 5 times a day. I'm in my third year of university, doing an honours degree in statistics with a minor in music. I skipped a grade, graduated from highschool at 16 and I have an I.Q. of 160. I've been playing the flute for 9 years. I'm bilingual (English and French) and I speak and understand Spanish pretty well. I like to post on FML occasionally but nowadays I'm pretty busy with school. I workout at least 5 times a week (yes, really). I'm 6'1" and 163 lbs. Most of the time I can be found playing video games on my Xbox 360 and Xbox One. I'm quite the achievement hunter, too; over 64,000G. I'm aiming to get all of the FML badges. Message me if you want to talk about pretty much anything. :)

Just another victim of the ambient mortality.

Inherently impermanent.

iAmPaul's page activity

Visits<b>D_Word_Head</b> - 24 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 10:37am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:57am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:01pm<b>kitcat517</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:04pm<b>ElMungia</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:13am<b>lndala</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:32am<b>GIGA_IMPACT</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 1:32pm<b>ImBored15</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 3:25pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 9:32pm<b>supersavvy</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:49pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Bbexxy</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:05am<b>ashieee143</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:40pm<b>ssm04</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:11am<b>StraightKing</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 7:31pm<b>1Personation</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:45pm<b>JuliaKay123</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:09am

Fucked!<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:39am<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:11pm<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>cyborghinge</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:27am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:19am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:10am<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:23pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:43am<b>kudoosh</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:21pm<b>Gunny20</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:43pm<b>FloWPs</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:19pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:39pm<b>niccoled</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:12am<b>heathertail</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:32am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:14pm<b>keely617</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:07pm<b>Thatepicperson</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:39pm

iAmPaul's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of iAmPaul's badges

iAmPaul's favorite FMLs

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

#21335645
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (3716)

On 01/12/2015 at 7:53am - love - by fukinlonely (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (3059)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39969) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33239) - you deserved it (2644)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML

#21326703
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you deserved it (2550)

On 12/29/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by happytuckerhappy (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39309) - you deserved it (4367)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

#21320813
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31733) - you deserved it (2411)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29977) - you deserved it (5729)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31070) - you deserved it (2986)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML

#21315479
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27008) - you deserved it (5526)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:08am - health - by No thanks - United States

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML

#21314671
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (2470)

On 12/09/2014 at 8:56pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

#21313753
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34426) - you deserved it (3277)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:58pm - love - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

#21313515
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (3680)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by BedazzledAlpaca (man) - United States (Colorado)



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