Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About iAmPaul : Hey, my name's Paul and I'm 19 years old. I've been on FML since March 21st, 2010. I'm Canadian, so I will literally die if I don't say "eh" at least 5 times a day. I'm in university, doing a BSSc. in economics with a minor in music. I skipped a grade, graduated from highschool at 16 and I have an I.Q. of 160. I've been playing the flute for 10 years. I'm bilingual (English and French) and I speak and understand Spanish pretty well. I like to post on FML occasionally but nowadays I'm pretty busy with school. I workout at least 5 times a week (yes, really). I'm 6'1" and 155 lbs. Most of the time I can be found playing video games on my Xbox 360 and Xbox One. I'm quite the achievement hunter, too; over 67,000G. I'm aiming to get all of the FML badges. Message me if you want to talk about pretty much anything. :)
Just another victim of the ambient mortality.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I got nearly kicked out of the room I rent because I refuse to close my curtains at night. Apparently, my landlady thinks it doesn't look nice when people pass by and look. My room is on the third floor and I just want to see the stars. FML
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
Today, I was running late for school and accidentally ran a red light and got pulled over. I couldn't find the registration and was freaking out, when the cop told me that he wouldn't give me a ticket if he could give me some advice. His advice? Don't wear your shirt inside-out. FML
Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML
Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML
Tuesday 24 November 2015