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iAmPaul

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iAmPaul

101Fucked!

iAmPauliAmPaul
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3759
  • Number of comments : 424
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 15 posted

About iAmPaul : Hey, my name's Paul and I'm 19 years old. I've been on FML since March 21st, 2010. I'm Canadian, so I will literally die if I don't say "eh" at least 5 times a day. I've finished my third year of university, doing an honours degree in statistics with a minor in music. I skipped a grade, graduated from highschool at 16 and I have an I.Q. of 160. I've been playing the flute for 10 years. I'm bilingual (English and French) and I speak and understand Spanish pretty well. I like to post on FML occasionally but nowadays I'm pretty busy with school. I workout at least 5 times a week (yes, really). I'm 6'1" and 155 lbs. Most of the time I can be found playing video games on my Xbox 360 and Xbox One. I'm quite the achievement hunter, too; over 64,000G. I'm aiming to get all of the FML badges. Message me if you want to talk about pretty much anything. :)

Just another victim of the ambient mortality.

Inherently impermanent.

iAmPaul's page activity

Visits<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:02pm<b>notcarwyn</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:44am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:31am<b>clrichmond2009</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:59pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:48am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Phantomisr</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:46pm<b>wildirishrose</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:27pm<b>brvnnx</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:24pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:47am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:22am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:48am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 12:06am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:16pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:18am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:56pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:41pm

Fucked!<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:48am<b>brvnnx</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:24pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:31pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:48pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:39am<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:11pm<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>cyborghinge</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:27am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:19am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:10am<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:23pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:43am<b>kudoosh</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:21pm<b>Gunny20</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:43pm

iAmPaul's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of iAmPaul's badges

iAmPaul's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29300) - you deserved it (4294)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that we wouldn't move in together as we had planned to do for a long time. His mother forbade it. He is 27. FML

#21407402
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (2567)

On 05/09/2015 at 7:03pm - love - by forever alone (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I got grounded because my mom found a condom in the bathroom trashcan and assumed it was mine. I took the blame because I was too embarrassed to admit that it must have belonged to my 13-year-old brother, since I'm still a virgin at 19. FML

#21391452
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (4661)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:16pm - misc - by uglybrother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35607) - you deserved it (3659)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

#21377727
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27126) - you deserved it (2482)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95) - you deserved it (2574)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39) - you deserved it (136)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30529) - you deserved it (2137)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (2909)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML

#21359104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (1945)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:46am - animals - by Animal cruelty (man) - Australia

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (2610)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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