Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iAmPaul

Online | Search for a member

iAmPaul

104Fucked!

iAmPauliAmPaul
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 November 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4358
  • Number of comments : 443
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About iAmPaul : Hey, my name's Paul and I'm 19 years old. I've been on FML since March 21st, 2010. I'm Canadian, so I will literally die if I don't say "eh" at least 5 times a day. I'm in university, doing a BSSc. in economics with a minor in music. I skipped a grade, graduated from highschool at 16 and I have an I.Q. of 160. I've been playing the flute for 10 years. I'm bilingual (English and French) and I speak and understand Spanish pretty well. I like to post on FML occasionally but nowadays I'm pretty busy with school. I workout at least 5 times a week (yes, really). I'm 6'1" and 155 lbs. Most of the time I can be found playing video games on my Xbox 360 and Xbox One. I'm quite the achievement hunter, too; over 67,000G. I'm aiming to get all of the FML badges. Message me if you want to talk about pretty much anything. :)

Just another victim of the ambient mortality.

Inherently impermanent.

iAmPaul's page activity

Visits<b>dillonfi</b> - yesterday at 4:32pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:14am<b>Funburn</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 6:15pm<b>__Dreamers__</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:30pm<b>enkt</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:49pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:03am<b>Krihssy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:12pm<b>mr_hoang</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:38pm<b>alisha0215</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 3:06pm<b>ElMarsho</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:53pm<b>FarmerGirl420</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:02am<b>asdfghjklmoo</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 5:59am<b>dropbeatsnotbomb</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 2:19am<b>umerin</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:58am<b>quarky</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:36am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:04am<b>lickastick</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:34pm<b>Buried_Queenz</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:26pm

Fucked!<b>NineeCat</b> - yesterday at 9:14am<b>terspal</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:22am<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:59am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:48am<b>brvnnx</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:24pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 6:31pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 2:48pm<b>MrsHaxxo</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:39am<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:11pm<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>cyborghinge</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:27am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:19am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:10am<b>aliceablaze</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:23pm

iAmPaul's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of iAmPaul's badges

iAmPaul's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (2445)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (1725)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (1783)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (3503)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

#21458879
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (5608)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML

#21457890
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18492) - you deserved it (10486)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25738) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

#21456323
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (1645)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:47am - work - by bruised - United States (Florida)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29241) - you deserved it (3562)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML

#21455427
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22786) - you deserved it (2051)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:13am - work - by Highroller_17 - United States

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML

#21454203
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28196) - you deserved it (1556)

On 08/10/2015 at 8:23am - work - by RetailRage (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

#21446986
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (1735)

On 07/25/2015 at 11:51am - love - by WhoLikesPie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29011) - you deserved it (4959)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12753) - you deserved it (23908)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

#21446464
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (1564)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:02am - work - by fishingforubies2 - Aruba



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: