Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hwkfan1

Search for a member

hwkfan1

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 December 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2680
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hwkfan1 : If you're reading this it means I've posted something funny or that you are diehard creepers. And yes I used the proper you're...Now fuck off! JK:D

hwkfan1's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:08am<b>ihiyeah</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:49pm<b>musicmann97</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:43am<b>Scorcher255</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:44pm<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:57pm<b>renouttaluck</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:24am<b>notzax</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:24am<b>billionair11</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 5:26pm<b>curticus</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:42am<b>Marine6297</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:05pm<b>electricshock19</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:01am<b>Mojo0608</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:48am<b>michaelbishop99</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:54pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:22pm<b>noahg45</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:06am<b>jamescrazy96</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:24am

Liked!<b>ihiyeah</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 1:49am

hwkfan1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of hwkfan1's badges

hwkfan1's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32025) - you deserved it (141814)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

#1957441
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41361) - you deserved it (2353)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:20am - work - by RunningMurphy (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML

#1744695
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39205) - you deserved it (7114)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by GK (man) - Australia

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML

#1713155
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13803) - you deserved it (79206)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35605) - you deserved it (93008)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year old boy asked me "What do you do when you really want something?". I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML

#1086361
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49447) - you deserved it (5761)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:51pm - kids - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
682 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33383) - you deserved it (484538)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

#782957
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (72439)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (170849) - you deserved it (30614)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and explaining to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

#669476
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53105) - you deserved it (7010)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

#657001
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138309) - you deserved it (6222)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (124769)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77354) - you deserved it (4555)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

#491409
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130374) - you deserved it (6355)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: