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hwkfan1

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hwkfan1
  • Town/Country : Snohomish, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 December 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 2269
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hwkfan1 : If you're reading this it means I've posted something funny or that you are diehard creepers. And yes I used the proper you're...Now fuck off! JK:D

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hwkfan1's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (133733)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

#1957441
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (2047)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:20am - work - by RunningMurphy (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML

#1744695
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37424) - you deserved it (6927)

On 05/08/2009 at 7:20am - misc - by GK (man) - Australia

Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML

#1713155
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12805) - you deserved it (76713)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (90455)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year old boy asked me "What do you do when you really want something?". I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML

#1086361
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43242) - you deserved it (4510)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:51pm - kids - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26375) - you deserved it (453512)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

#782957
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20065) - you deserved it (68351)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

#777672
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (158837) - you deserved it (27646)

On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and explaining to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

#669476
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50498) - you deserved it (6765)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

#657001
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131298) - you deserved it (5738)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:35am - health - by hospitalflunky (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (118395)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

#614734
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69218) - you deserved it (3463)

On 03/25/2009 at 11:45pm - kids - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

#491409
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122322) - you deserved it (5716)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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