hwkfan1

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hwkfan1

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 December 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3991
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hwkfan1 : If you're reading this it means I've posted something funny or that you are diehard creepers. And yes I used the proper you're...Now fuck off! JK:D

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Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:36am<b>ihiyeah</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 1:49am

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hwkfan1's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

by Rob / 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm / Health

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 1:17am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Kids

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

by doggybag / 09/24/2009 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

by BigSister / 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

by Casden / 09/13/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

by no_hullabalo / 09/04/2009 at 10:50am / Taiwan (T'ai-wan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

by naughtyshirt / 08/22/2009 at 5:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

by who_could_it_be / 08/06/2009 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

by dumb / 08/03/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

by Toaster / 07/30/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML

by nicefamily / 07/18/2009 at 8:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

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