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hwkfan1

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hwkfan1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 December 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2576
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hwkfan1 : If you're reading this it means I've posted something funny or that you are diehard creepers. And yes I used the proper you're...Now fuck off! JK:D

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hwkfan1's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30758) - you deserved it (3646)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

#5846674
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (3074)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

#5560413
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33151) - you deserved it (3646)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (73228)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

#5229708
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49195) - you deserved it (2917)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm - kids - by BigSister (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

#5227356
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (3064)

On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39859) - you deserved it (2950)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

#4998689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (15953)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

#4730526
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33842) - you deserved it (3938)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36213) - you deserved it (4108)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (493941)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

#4247689
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68065) - you deserved it (3967)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

#4158502
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52899) - you deserved it (3591)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57698) - you deserved it (26168)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML



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