Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

hwkfan1

Search for a member

hwkfan1
  • Town/Country : Snohomish, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 December 1997 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 1664
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hwkfan1 : If you're reading this it means I've posted something funny or that you are diehard creepers. And yes I used the proper you're...Now fuck off! JK:D

hwkfan1's last visitors

fabs1171doubledutchyfootcheezeezwatermelon1dragonfirefairyigetitincum2winWell8302iNewKidabbiyroad

hwkfan1's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of hwkfan1's badges

hwkfan1's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

#9129865
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you deserved it (3965)

On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (5100)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

#8472964
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (1515)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:59am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (4636)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9372) - you deserved it (35527)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9372) - you deserved it (35527)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (6374)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (6374)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27100) - you deserved it (1957)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

#6927216
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3894) - you deserved it (33709)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Sean (man) - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (1830)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU". It really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18569) - you deserved it (8169)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8971) - you deserved it (36866)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: