Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hwkfan1

Search for a member

hwkfan1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 December 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2461
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hwkfan1 : If you're reading this it means I've posted something funny or that you are diehard creepers. And yes I used the proper you're...Now fuck off! JK:D

hwkfan1's page activity

Visits<b>noahg45</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:06am<b>jamescrazy96</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 8:24am<b>Soloman212</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 7:49am<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 11:13am<b>babyladuke</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:05am<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 7:20am<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 7:22pm<b>Indianboy9321</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:35am<b>Fuzzbig</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:00pm<b>tylergonmad</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:11pm<b>insomniacdreamer</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:41am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 12:59pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 12:34am<b>laney_bug_</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 5:25pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 4:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 10:44am

hwkfan1's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of hwkfan1's badges

hwkfan1's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

#9129865
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (5020)

On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (6501)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

#8472964
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37061) - you deserved it (2107)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:59am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you deserved it (5213)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11566) - you deserved it (45675)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11566) - you deserved it (45675)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27923) - you deserved it (2899)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49816) - you deserved it (7886)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49816) - you deserved it (7886)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33261) - you deserved it (2624)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML

#6927216
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5429) - you deserved it (45690)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Sean (man) - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (2550)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (10663)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11850) - you deserved it (48193)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

#6217928
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37691) - you deserved it (2163)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: