About hwkfan1 : If you're reading this it means I've posted something funny or that you are diehard creepers. And yes I used the proper you're...Now fuck off! JK:D
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69805) - you deserved it (3085)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5598) - you deserved it (26971)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6283) - you deserved it (19579)
On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (1493)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (1891)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at the mall with my friend, when an old lady walked up to us. She looked at my friend and said, "My dear, you're gorgeous! I bet all the boys want you!" She then shot me a brief look and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18518) - you deserved it (1594)
On 07/11/2012 at 2:46pm - misc - by uglygurl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (2208)
On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (1444)
Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (2816)
On 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (1267)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States
Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (2868)
On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (2868)
On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to make me dinner surrounded by a candlelight setting. By the time I got home, we had 7 firefighters surrounding our house. Turns out one of the candles fell on the carpet and lit up the curtain as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14837) - you deserved it (1262)
On 07/07/2012 at 9:42pm - misc - by mynameiscrazy - Australia
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25299) - you deserved it (2873)
On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45449) - you deserved it (4603)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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