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hurley12's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
by Meg / 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 3:42am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by crudofalife / 07/04/2011 at 5:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML
by jreed509 / 07/03/2011 at 1:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/01/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Missouri) / Health
by Ali (New York) / 06/23/2011 at 11:01pm / United States (New York) / Health
by wowohwow / 06/23/2011 at 12:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by evomadrid24 / 06/16/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by suze44 / 06/13/2011 at 10:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 06/11/2011 at 1:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by gabxoxo03 / 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
by kringr / 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by yummy / 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy