Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About hthelittleone : Hey!
I have no idea why you clicked this, but I'm guessing it's probably because of my super good looks and/or sense of humor. Just kidding, I'm not that funny. (;
There's really nothing you need to know about me besides my love for cats, Halo (on xbox), and drawing. I love to sing too; I am sometimes called the songbird of our generation. Kidding, I have terrible stage freight.
If you wanna know anything else, message me! I love getting mail, who doesn't? (:
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite; this dog was no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Friday 27 March 2015