About hthelittleone : Hey!
I have no idea why you clicked this, but I'm guessing it's probably because of my super good looks and/or sense of humor. Just kidding, I'm not that funny. (;
There's really nothing you need to know about me besides my love for cats, Halo (on xbox), and drawing. I love to sing too; I am sometimes called the songbird of our generation. Kidding, I have terrible stage freight.
If you wanna know anything else, message me! I love getting mail, who doesn't? (:
About hthelittleone : Hey!
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hthelittleone's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
by aligator1009 / 05/09/2012 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
by lon01t / 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
by bummed / 04/15/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Scabby / 04/11/2012 at 5:53am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Health
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
by emoflowers / 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
by Kait / 04/05/2012 at 12:13am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by BookBabe / 03/25/2012 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
by purple / 03/24/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
by busfail / 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy
- Today, my passport arrived in the mail today. They got my birthday wrong. I scavenged for my birth… Today, I woke up to the sound of screaming: my two daughters had found their hamster had gotten wet… Today, I realized no matter what I try, I can't stimulate my clitorus. I get more pleasure cleaning…