hsm450

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hsm450

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2287
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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hsm450's page activity

Visits<b>TheCurvyGamer</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 11:42pm<b>lurch87</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:41pm

Fucked!<b>TheCurvyGamer</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 4:42am

hsm450's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hsm450's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

by badsister / 01/10/2010 at 10:37am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our love life. He said that he was really busy. He was playing Call of Duty. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2010 at 10:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

by VAngelique / 01/10/2010 at 9:48am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML

by Rawr / 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

by cheaters_should_die / 12/18/2009 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

by Mogg / 12/18/2009 at 3:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

by WhoaThere / 12/18/2009 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

by nwalsh2009 / 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

by ohmy / 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada / Animals

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

by Bill / 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

by simon / 07/23/2009 at 6:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

by toomuchmetal / 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML

by partygirlxxx / 05/23/2009 at 11:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous