hsRoseTyler5

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Offline (the 12/27/2014 at 9:40pm)

hsRoseTyler5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 January 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2515
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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hsRoseTyler5's page activity

Visits<b>TSFboy</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 9:26pm<b>graced91</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 2:57pm<b>AZdabest17</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:37am<b>moonfal</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 2:08pm<b>michman3030</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 11:05pm<b>holyshitbatman</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 1:05am

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hsRoseTyler5's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Holidays

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

by fineillpissthebedthen / 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

by guessnot / 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Money

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

by goodlord12 / 01/17/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

by veggieluver / 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous