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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15433) - you deserved it (13541)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (4272)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14070) - you deserved it (3956)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (2936)
On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15680) - you deserved it (3322)
On 02/08/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend of six months dumped me for his girlfriend on Grand Theft Auto because he was "tired of having to please two women at once." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23543) - you deserved it (3045)
On 02/08/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12380) - you deserved it (60225)
On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (5759)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while my teacher was in the middle of a lecture, I accidentally made it so my laptop would display everything upside down. It took me the rest of class to get it right side up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5035) - you deserved it (18892)
On 01/27/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3567) - you deserved it (26149)
On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23059) - you deserved it (3235)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54310) - you deserved it (4928)
On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2582) - you deserved it (43311)
On 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rainydays79 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you deserved it (2390)
On 01/23/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6158) - you deserved it (15287)
On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - intimacy - by BlackPolarbear - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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