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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58419) - you deserved it (2568)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (214132)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38800) - you deserved it (571194)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69016) - you deserved it (2541)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:59am - health - by Casey - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82134) - you deserved it (4961)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64847) - you deserved it (5047)
On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (271517)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I left my wallet on top of my car when I filled up with gas. I drove away and didn't realize it until I got home. I went back and found it on the side of the road. Empty of my credit cards, pictures and checks. All that was left was my driver's license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19851) - you deserved it (29156)
On 06/06/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by fml_seriouslyfml (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8044) - you deserved it (59475)
On 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm - health - by thedogkisser (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43751) - you deserved it (15742)
On 06/06/2009 at 2:48am - health - by XLhottie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61536) - you deserved it (3609)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (54646)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday party. Being the lazy person that I am, I got my niece to blow up the non-helium balloons. Apparently she's allergic to latex and I'll be the one paying for the hospital bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10671) - you deserved it (47109)
On 06/03/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by ivyleaguebabe (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65923) - you deserved it (163217)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving home, talking to my dad on the phone about losing my job. A man kept honking at me, I remarked to my dad how some people on the road are just assholes for no reason. I later realized I had left my laptop on my roof, and it flew onto the freeway. The man was signaling me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7287) - you deserved it (45831)
On 06/01/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by computerdude (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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