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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML
I agree, your life sucks (39867) - you deserved it (11573)
On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5469) - you deserved it (77933)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:14am - love - by embarrassed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29359) - you deserved it (19191)
On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has know for years, except for me and my older brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (1648)
On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (47314)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11293) - you deserved it (35394)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (73784)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7641) - you deserved it (71396)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I exchanged promise rings. I promised that I would stay committed to him and that he was the only one for me. He promised that he would stop seeing other woman behind my back. He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42557) - you deserved it (3597)
On 07/17/2009 at 3:24pm - love - by Shocked (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23416) - you deserved it (77926)
On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48216) - you deserved it (7153)
On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32619) - you deserved it (7311)
On 07/17/2009 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Cyberella (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5660) - you deserved it (63115)
On 07/17/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (6876)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11511) - you deserved it (58227)
On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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