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hpdrew15

Offline (the 11/23/2014 at 10:06am) | Search for a member

hpdrew15

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  • Number of visits : 3032
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hpdrew15's page activity

Visits<b>Jamied123</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:12pm

hpdrew15's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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hpdrew15's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

#4244213
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46591) - you deserved it (4236)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14099) - you deserved it (119199)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

#4231879
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12006) - you deserved it (48623)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML

#4231503
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64449) - you deserved it (5502)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by ididntdoanythingaight (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

#4215163
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59436) - you deserved it (3558)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

#4207325
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52182) - you deserved it (12238)

On 08/01/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Maria39018 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML

#4203551
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48438) - you deserved it (2463)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66989) - you deserved it (15334)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

#4180457
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50650) - you deserved it (5770)

On 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm - love - by WiltedFlower (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

#4180457
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50650) - you deserved it (5770)

On 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm - love - by WiltedFlower (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

#4157667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (26521)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

#4137470
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54999) - you deserved it (2820)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by allocomrade (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

#4126370
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52966) - you deserved it (2648)

On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

#4105685
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7591) - you deserved it (112987)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by idiot (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw this cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty and asked for her number. She replied "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

#4102567
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8644) - you deserved it (111019)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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