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Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (2441)
On 05/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by ewwgross - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38953) - you deserved it (7129)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38120) - you deserved it (14900)
On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (11028)
On 01/31/2011 at 12:58am - love - by Thanh Quang -
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (4137)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (1874)
On 09/12/2010 at 8:08pm - misc - by tenthousandspoon - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I got a message from my ex saying how sorry he was for everything he did. He also said that if he wasn't getting married and having a kid we could still be together. We broke up a year ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18844) - you deserved it (1878)
On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - love - by nubbins (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (1837)
On 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm - money - by Arsinoe (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you deserved it (2173)
On 01/02/2010 at 3:26am - work - by Labelme (woman) - United States
Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20072) - you deserved it (10120)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (75993)
On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33493) - you deserved it (5102)
On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)
Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23290) - you deserved it (14726)
On 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm - work - by jeph23 (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51050) - you deserved it (11675)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (549)
On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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