Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About hotPinklipstick : Hello you beautiful ray of sunshine!! Nice to meet you. I'm glad you could stop by my profile. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable.
Let me tell you a little about myself.
I'm 22 years old, born and raised in Texas.
I don't like it when someone doesn't know the difference between the words 'your' and 'you're'.
I support marriage equality.
I'm very random.
I get on this site A LOT, but I rarely comment. Half the things I think of to say have already been said. So I figure, why bother. Besides, reading everyone else's hit or miss comments are more fun anyways.
I almost always up/downvote based on the comment, not the commenter. DocBastard is the exception to this rule. I have a secret crush on DocBastard. I have for years now. (:
Bye for now.
Now it's time for so long, but we'll sing just one more song. Thanks for doing your part, you sure are smart. You know with me and you, and my dog Blue, we can do anything that we wanna do!! (Team Steve!)
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML
Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Friday 22 May 2015