About hotPinklipstick : I'm 21 years old, born and raised in Texas.
I h8 ppl dat typ lyk dis.
I don't like it when someone doesn't know the difference between the words 'your' and 'you're'. It makes me want to slap them in the face with a dictionary.
I support marriage equality.
I'm very random.
Has anyone else noticed Will Smith walking away with a neutralyzer after someone asks you to describe yourself? I feel like an idiot after someone asks about me because I'm like, "ummm, I like grapes and I have a dog" then everything just kinda disintegrates in my mind from there.
Bye for now I guess.
Now it's time for so long, but we'll sing just one more song. Thanks for doing your part, you sure are smart. You know with me and you, and my dog Blue, we can do anything that we wanna do!! (Team Steve! Fuck Joe!!)
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (50694)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (423)
On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -
Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27283) - you deserved it (1758) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30396) - you deserved it (12958)
On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10355) - you deserved it (20782)
On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17124) - you deserved it (1747)
On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (9433)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19920) - you deserved it (1213)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29680) - you deserved it (2916) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15191) - you deserved it (3073)
On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (1796)
On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33046) - you deserved it (2676)
On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19460) - you deserved it (6316)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Russian Federation
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9372) - you deserved it (42328)
Today, I moved to California. Too bad the rest of my belongings didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (1915)
On 11/16/2011 at 8:32pm - health - by tomoxishigaki - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
