horseygirl11698

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horseygirl11698

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1093
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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horseygirl11698's page activity

Visits<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 2:55pm<b>goobze</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 11:28am<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 5:19pm<b>jwalknasty2210</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 12:04am<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 10:51am<b>Slicknik23</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:38pm<b>Beyto7000</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 4:57pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 2:18am<b>taylor27gang</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:19pm<b>DismissedOwl5</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:31pm<b>Zombiekilla3229</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:28am<b>woiz</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 11:18pm<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:05pm<b>swaggedout12345</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 6:18pm<b>noxiffic</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 4:22pm<b>luminis12</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 5:35am<b>brians2617m</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 5:00am<b>cmoney1992</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 10:28pm

horseygirl11698's FML badges

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horseygirl11698's favorite FMLs

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

by blackchin III / 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Health

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

by Harry / 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

by kids / 05/12/2014 at 1:17am / Kids

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

by rholt / 01/14/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

by SantaClaus / 11/02/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Health

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

by The greatest Illusion ever / 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

by Allycat / 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

by CelibateHero / 10/05/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation