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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41353) - you deserved it (5005)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54605) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52279) - you deserved it (3447)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11323) - you deserved it (45719)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, it was the last day of camp. I told my friends we should exchange e-mail addresses so we could stay in touch. Apparently, they all had already exchanged their contact info. Nobody asked me for one piece of my contact info even once during the entire six weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (3061)
On 08/23/2009 at 3:09am - misc - by Lonely (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27100) - you deserved it (1880)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by ihatelongflights (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14689) - you deserved it (34388)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50642) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64408) - you deserved it (4521)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83002) - you deserved it (3340)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45899) - you deserved it (15273)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35844) - you deserved it (6632)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46177) - you deserved it (12544)
On 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Momlovesme (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42444) - you deserved it (3298)
On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57321) - you deserved it (9129)
On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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