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Offline (the 11/30/2016 at 4:49am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 321
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About hornytoad13 : College student just trying to make a living off of bad jokes.

hornytoad13's page activity

Visits<b>sshah5688</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 2:11am<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 5:58pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 1:58am<b>mel4joe2015</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 12:03am<b>a_sales</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:11pm<b>Risea</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 1:52am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:34pm<b>epeeftw</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:51am<b>Marcella1016</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:44am<b>magicviper1</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:41pm<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 7:13pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:53am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:55am

Fucked!<b>BoneCollector</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 11:58pm<b>mel4joe2015</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 6:04am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:53pm

hornytoad13's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of hornytoad13's badges

hornytoad13's favorite FMLs

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids

Today, while trying to explain to my friends what an anxiety attack is like, I had an anxiety attack. FML

by ohtheirony / 12/10/2015 at 2:49pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, it's been two weeks since I got married. It's also two weeks since my husband got cold feet about moving in together, because he thinks the sudden change would be too emotionally distressing for his cat. FML

by unimpressed bride / 11/22/2015 at 1:10am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

by itwaswarm / 09/25/2015 at 5:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

by .... / 11/29/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

by outoflove / 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

by exchange / 12/17/2009 at 12:00am / Ireland (Limerick) / Money

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

by steven / 06/28/2009 at 11:53am / Cayman Islands / Miscellaneous