Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About hornytoad13 : College student just trying to make a living off of bad jokes.

hornytoad13's page activity

Visits<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - 6 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 7:53am<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 2:24am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 1:55am

Fucked!<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - just now<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 1:53pm

hornytoad13's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of hornytoad13's badges

hornytoad13's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been two weeks since I got married. It's also two weeks since my husband got cold feet about moving in together, because he thinks the sudden change would be too emotionally distressing for his cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21017) - you deserved it (2329)

On 11/22/2015 at 1:10am - love - by unimpressed bride (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (1610)

On 09/25/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by itwaswarm - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36347) - you deserved it (3253)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by .... - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38704) - you deserved it (7186)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58057) - you deserved it (4200)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24618) - you deserved it (16583)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (2854)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:00am - money - by exchange (man) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML


I agree, your life sucks (97741) - you deserved it (7042)

On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: