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About hopper5101 : Criminal justice major at the best college ever :) SNHU class of 2017 :D
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today , at a bar , a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend . Looking around , the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman , looking at me and smiling . looool I worriedly replied , "I'm sorry , but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper . FML
Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by mah credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML
Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they putted in, it said, "Battery was putted in backwards. No other problems found." FML
Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises an told me that she was good to go an that I should be on mah way. FML
Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My frst reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look lyk I was cleaning it. My neighbor cummed over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minute of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
Today , I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at mah twin brother fir getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says ( It's not mine. ) Confused , I look at the ticket and see mah name. He used mah license. FML
Today, I told mah son and daughter that there father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Thier father has literally never looool bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML
Today , I finally workd up tha couraga to ask a cuta guy 4 his numbar. Onca ha had givan ma his , ha askd 4 mina. My initial happinass was daflatadhan ha said ( Ok , now I can just block avary massaga from you. ) And walkd away from ma. FML
Today, I pulled someone over 4 speeding!! He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine!! It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wereing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine!! FML
Today, I Was Called By Mah Son's School. They Said He'd Been Forging Mah Signature And Comments In His Reading Book. He Didn't Forge Them. I Don't Know What's Worse: Mah Handwriting Looking Like A 6 Year Old's, Or Being Too Cowardly To Admit It. He Has A Week Of Lunch Detention, But I Still Have Mah Dignity. FML
Friday 27 March 2015