Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hopper5101

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 5:33pm) | Search for a member

hopper5101

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3276
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About hopper5101 : Criminal justice major at the best college ever :) SNHU class of 2017 :D

hopper5101's page activity

Visits<b>oloy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:11am<b>k_gils</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 3:06pm<b>DWolf58</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 2:34pm<b>excrations</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:46pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 7:28pm<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 2:27pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:59am<b>jusgotburned</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 11:11pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 12:51pm<b>daisylovesyew16</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 1:28pm<b>RevengeIsSweet</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 5:27pm<b>TheWetzel</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 8:26pm<b>talun</b> - the 07/03/2010 at 11:16am

hopper5101's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of hopper5101's badges

hopper5101's favorite FMLs

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10284) - you deserved it (36663)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML

#7167765
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26863) - you deserved it (2182)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm - money - by Arsinoe (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (1822)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they put in, it said, "Battery was put in backwards. No other problems found." FML

#6680274
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5363) - you deserved it (40612)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by her0x3her0ine617 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35788) - you deserved it (5319)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7238) - you deserved it (80223)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23381) - you deserved it (13635)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10467) - you deserved it (72561)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

#5990692
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11396) - you deserved it (67415)

On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML

#5913755
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43632) - you deserved it (4050)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML

#5791977
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44113) - you deserved it (9762)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by worst (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML

#5530738
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39862) - you deserved it (8024)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said "Ok, now I can just block every message from you." And walked away from me. FML

#5328809
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (77934)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9043) - you deserved it (103570)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: