Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hopiee

Search for a member

hopiee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 59975
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About hopiee : whatacunt
Aim - p00pinmyeye
Msn - hopieex3@hotmail.com

hopiee's page activity

Visits<b>OrangeJews</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:23pm<b>ChloeRattlehead</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 11:55am<b>ryerye942</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:38am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:11pm<b>tori3700</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:35pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:17am<b>PolloRobot</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:36pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:43pm<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 10:42am<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:33pm<b>madridista14</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:59am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:40am<b>AmandaTiger</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:11pm<b>justinccp</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:20pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 6:38pm<b>iSnipeFatPeople</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:59am<b>silon5</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 10:26am

hopiee's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hopiee's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

#7728749
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (6463)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22226) - you deserved it (2835)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

#7718053
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (3939)

On 01/30/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by hahahawoww (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16290) - you deserved it (75467)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45188) - you deserved it (12894)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

#7523992
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25473) - you deserved it (7307)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27593) - you deserved it (3613)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

#6482495
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9616) - you deserved it (44211)

On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

#6443277
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33396) - you deserved it (7397)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:45am - work - by youshitme (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (2035)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (14314)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

#6364461
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8222) - you deserved it (36294)

On 11/19/2009 at 1:10am - kids - by fail (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

#6358488
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30507) - you deserved it (4214)

On 11/18/2009 at 7:19pm - health - by ohmigodimchokin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16357) - you deserved it (29391)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

#6354900
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (2900)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: