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honeycutt8729

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honeycutt8729

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 May 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4428
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About honeycutt8729 : I'm Kristin & I love rap!!
I read fml because I love to laugh.
I don't care about grammar.
I love working out.
Always in a good mood.
I have a black lab who likes to wrestle, and cheats by head butting me in the leg when I'm cooking.
I'm married...7-1-11
I love to cook.

honeycutt8729's page activity

Visits<b>tfowl61692</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Augenna</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:52am<b>mrowl96</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:14pm<b>jozephizcoolz</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Jpav1</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:41pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:09pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:03pm<b>stryggzy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:02pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:29am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:47am<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:41pm<b>ZackFev</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:23pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:29pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:57pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 12:15am<b>iamataco</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 1:08am

honeycutt8729's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

honeycutt8729's favorite FMLs

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69698) - you deserved it (6673)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

#2524291
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11242) - you deserved it (58953)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:39am - animals - by xacked (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

#2228533
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102741) - you deserved it (24936)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

#1652768
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15165) - you deserved it (92057)

On 05/05/2009 at 1:43am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15546) - you deserved it (128269)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

#831466
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65851) - you deserved it (9365)

On 04/06/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by annonymous (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78382) - you deserved it (42997)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML

#740742
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19865) - you deserved it (76915)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

#319307
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83370) - you deserved it (8732)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by CPN (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27456) - you deserved it (137456)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164435) - you deserved it (14917)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281536) - you deserved it (63720)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML

#523
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8638) - you deserved it (31311)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version



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