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homieg1995

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homieg1995

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  • Number of visits : 1041
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

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Visits<b>winterforever97</b> - the 02/06/2012 at 6:25pm<b>murlocholmes</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 10:49pm<b>KirstyDragon</b> - the 10/05/2011 at 5:06am<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 09/23/2011 at 10:37pm

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homieg1995's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (4544)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66879) - you deserved it (7891)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33697) - you deserved it (28690)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (111667)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36920) - you deserved it (4262)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (6285)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

#20097230
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (1337)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

#19667338
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (2060)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7560) - you deserved it (31857)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9959) - you deserved it (61265)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

#18969036
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10984) - you deserved it (87324)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

#17120359
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (8994)

On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom



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