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Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5957) - you deserved it (427)
On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5765) - you deserved it (772) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/18/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by Fillifilo (woman) - France
Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7042) - you deserved it (511)
On 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Rebecca - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1877) - you deserved it (8197)
On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2412) - you deserved it (15895)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3530) - you deserved it (11973)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6240) - you deserved it (43373)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States
Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (6660)
On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom
Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43302) - you deserved it (6670)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4533) - you deserved it (17343)
On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (8108)
On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40498) - you deserved it (3373)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59151) - you deserved it (4357)
On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (7262)
On 03/02/2011 at 3:16am - misc - by Noguestlist -
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19878) - you deserved it (3306)
On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)
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