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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1109
  • Number of comments : 118
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About homesuckfucker : Hi, I'm Bee! I'm not a great conversationalist, but chances are if you say something that I'm interested in I'll go on and on about it for hours. I like Homestuck, Steven Universe, and Undertale!

homesuckfucker's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - yesterday at 7:51am<b>Nahpets</b> - yesterday at 4:18pm<b>nousername111</b> - yesterday at 2:20pm<b>Camilio</b> - yesterday at 1:01pm<b>mjlocat</b> - yesterday at 12:48pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:52am<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:06am<b>csjc</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:56am<b>bs252</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:46am<b>NateC27</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:41am<b>vincentjules</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 6:27am<b>M3talJunki3</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:37am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:46pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:32pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:25pm<b>hjbehrens3</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:13pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:10pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 10:31pm

Fucked!<b>csjc</b> - yesterday at 2:57pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:21am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:38pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 2:07pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:23pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:14pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:31am<b>lhuss12</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:57pm<b>WhiteMagickz</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 4:22am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:40am<b>kragnukewtf</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 5:03am<b>saffy66</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Jenniesaurus</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 2:49pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:12am<b>kittykat8770</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:58am<b>dblogic</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 1:56am<b>lukian</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 2:07am

homesuckfucker's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of homesuckfucker's badges

homesuckfucker's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried dying my hair blonde. I put my hair in a bun and waited for it to dye. I guess I did something wrong, because my hair is now 4 different shades of blonde/orange, along with patches of my natural black hair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15953) - you deserved it (11070)

On 12/25/2015 at 11:00am - misc - by shitberries (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (5454)

On 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm - intimacy - by Moth_Balled (man) - Australia

Today, I found out my girlfriend is a full-on, wants-to-be-banged-by-a-horse furry. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (3197)

On 12/13/2015 at 6:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer asked me for "gluten free milk". When I told her that most milk is gluten free, she flew into a fit of rage and cussed me out for being a "cheeky bitch". My manager then lectured me about not being "patronising" to customers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21159) - you deserved it (2512)

On 12/10/2015 at 12:29am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while giving my final speech, a bump that had been growing on my arm popped. Pus leaked through my white dress sleeve, and it smelled like death. Everyone noticed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (2348)

On 12/08/2015 at 3:24pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32827) - you deserved it (2371)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (2493)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30040) - you deserved it (4979)

On 05/10/2015 at 9:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35276) - you deserved it (7515)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34077) - you deserved it (24821)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (33809) - you deserved it (3801)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36025) - you deserved it (3882)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39184) - you deserved it (4730)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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