Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

holynemesis1208

Search for a member

holynemesis1208

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 December 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 56231
  • Number of comments : 183
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About holynemesis1208 : bored in the search of amusement.
M.Ward is the soundtrack of my life.
Nine Inch Nails is my soul.

always up for making new friends-- aim Stephiison
twitter.com/HolyNemesis
last.fm/user/holynemesis1208

holynemesis1208's page activity

Visits<b>suckmideck</b> - 10 hours ago<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:45am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:13am<b>xokpxo</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:12pm<b>Gundai</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:08pm<b>OneThingRemains</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:14pm<b>shenzielover</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Noah197099</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:33pm<b>Wheelman2178</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:56am<b>ksavage121</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 8:42pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:38pm<b>iYamEmoRay</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:18pm<b>johndog699</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 9:08am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 10:44pm<b>mockingbooks</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 10:54am<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 9:16pm<b>sillymuggles</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:55pm<b>fallen45078</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:41pm

holynemesis1208's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

holynemesis1208's favorite FMLs

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60527) - you deserved it (19375)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66040) - you deserved it (5135)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9295) - you deserved it (61165)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43355) - you deserved it (9516)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

#41916
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33105) - you deserved it (5232)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by faye (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48062) - you deserved it (7820)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35252) - you deserved it (17976)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11188) - you deserved it (69141)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13071) - you deserved it (64436)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281778) - you deserved it (51893)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44790) - you deserved it (6148)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15550) - you deserved it (67876)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: