bored in the search of amusement.
M.Ward is the soundtrack of my life.
Nine Inch Nails is my soul.
always up for making new friends-- aim Stephiison
twitter.com/HolyNemesis
last.fm/user/holynemesis1208
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71379) - you totally deserved it (2125)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49427) - you totally deserved it (19327)
On 03/17/2009 at 2:17pm - money - by RdL (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56136) - you totally deserved it (4415)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She proceeded to ask, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you totally deserved it (49617)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said i was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45847) - you totally deserved it (2979)
On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)
Today, I dropped my keys. Not wanting to lean over and pick them up, I pointed at them and said "Accio." Then I realized I had tried to use a Harry Potter spell in real life and in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21218) - you totally deserved it (93349)
On 03/05/2009 at 7:45pm - misc - by redhead (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31372) - you totally deserved it (4838)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9829) - you totally deserved it (71304)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50692) - you totally deserved it (6837)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by acw2110 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28981) - you totally deserved it (4063)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:13pm - misc - by niabby - United States (Illinois)
Today, I introduced myself to the Pakistani group I joined at my school by saying my name was Jahan. They all laughed. Apparently my name is slang for FATASS. Thanks Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34944) - you totally deserved it (1757)
On 02/20/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by gibberish (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32678) - you totally deserved it (3450)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by allyshah - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33365) - you totally deserved it (2208)
On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you totally deserved it (1305)
On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML
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On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)
