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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2306
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About hollywoodt1ts : I grabbed life by the horns, broke the bull's leg, and lived to tell the tale.
in other news, I am an avid FML reader. I'm on here at least 4 times a day.
my profile picture is definitely hilarious because it contains a guy with a muffin on top of his head and is in the picture with a girl who has a muffin top. HA!!

enough said.

enjoy my day to day comments.
down right favorite poster on here is DocBastard
trying to keep up with him is like running a three legged race with only a peg leg and a cane.

hollywoodt1ts's page activity

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hollywoodt1ts's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of hollywoodt1ts's badges

hollywoodt1ts's favorite FMLs

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

by PissyPants / 06/20/2010 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

by Chichensoup / 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

by doesnttastegood / 02/01/2010 at 5:23am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

by dj163 / 09/16/2009 at 4:25am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

by arrestedgun / 05/23/2009 at 3:37am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

by BerryRockstar / 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

by ohshittttttt / 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm / United States (New York) / Geek