hollywoodt1ts

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hollywoodt1ts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1745
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About hollywoodt1ts : I grabbed life by the horns, broke the bull's leg, and lived to tell the tale.
in other news, I am an avid FML reader. I'm on here at least 4 times a day.
my profile picture is definitely hilarious because it contains a guy with a muffin on top of his head and is in the picture with a girl who has a muffin top. HA!!

enough said.

enjoy my day to day comments.
down right favorite poster on here is DocBastard
trying to keep up with him is like running a three legged race with only a peg leg and a cane.

hollywoodt1ts's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:41pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 8:16pm<b>maelynn11</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:42pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 9:30pm<b>bazzers</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 4:10am<b>Chris93Jones</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 12:24am<b>treschicmylove</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:07pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:37pm<b>chrisiffer</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:23pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 6:30pm<b>sparkin</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 6:20pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 4:06pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:44pm<b>mareenadegler</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 2:31pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 4:25pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 11:58pm<b>Kateyez_26</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:07pm<b>blackwidowtaco</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 2:53am

hollywoodt1ts's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of hollywoodt1ts's badges

hollywoodt1ts's favorite FMLs

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Health

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

by PerpetuallyHappy / 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

by EvilMother / 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

by holymoly / 09/05/2012 at 2:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:44am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

by JAdams / 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

by TheMissMuffly / 07/31/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

by great / 07/20/2012 at 6:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation