Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hollyglambert

Search for a member

hollyglambert

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 383
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hollyglambert :

hollyglambert's page activity

Visits<b>Stevieray20</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 5:27pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 6:30pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 3:47pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 1:13pm<b>KatieMajestic</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 7:18am<b>Ambient25</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 6:55am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 12:05am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 6:21am<b>k_gils</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 6:45pm<b>isallwaysme</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:54pm<b>ramblerramblin</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:31am<b>Kenneth91</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 10:10am

hollyglambert's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of hollyglambert's badges

hollyglambert's favorite FMLs

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15650) - you deserved it (33046)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (15028)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (5780)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (4467)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (4307)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (5507)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (4961)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (3096)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

#19453519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21788) - you deserved it (3442)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML

#19326389
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27239) - you deserved it (1951)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:14pm - kids - by futuremum (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (6922)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (7545)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

#18557355
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17995) - you deserved it (4514)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by BKCK4187 - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24986) - you deserved it (17067)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: