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hogman500

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hogman500

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  • Number of visits : 780
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hogman500's page activity

Visits<b>threer</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:37pm<b>taylor21398</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 6:09am<b>oneofthosegirls</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Knightchaser27</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:50am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 5:03am<b>jojosch143</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 4:05pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 10:01pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 7:20pm<b>bettyboop428</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 6:08pm<b>Anner22</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:54pm<b>Jharrist89</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 4:15pm

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hogman500's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (23896)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (3043)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44619) - you deserved it (6895)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39195) - you deserved it (3840)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52869) - you deserved it (7981)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44428) - you deserved it (7076)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49654) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

#21190580
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (7457)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42908) - you deserved it (6125)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39502) - you deserved it (5275)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46158) - you deserved it (22786)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (6967)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59496) - you deserved it (8448)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)



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