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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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hockey_chick

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hockey_chick
  • Town/Country : Virginia, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 425
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hockey_chick's favorite FMLs

Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML

#3394819 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (9306) - you deserved it (29602)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Beccarr - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I was home alone in the shower when in the opening of the curtain, I could see a man in a ski mask. I passed out, hit my head on the tub. I then found out it was my dad pulling a prank on me. I almost died cause my dad wanted to see me scream like a girl. FML

#3393959 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (40024) - you deserved it (3024)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31pm - misc - by dfan13 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML

#3017474 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by Stung (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (3927)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read "you can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

#2992603 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (73850) - you deserved it (3298)

On 06/18/2009 at 11:08am - intimacy - by larvagirl23 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164 (334)

I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (81307)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my Swedish friend for some lines to impress this swedish girl I met at an expat party he took me to. I practised them all evening before I met her. I told her my feelings, and she scowled. Apparently I had wished the devil upon her - after asking if i could ejaculate on her face. FML

#2964628 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (41268) - you deserved it (15820)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Dirtyswede (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

#2865123 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (36496) - you deserved it (1455)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Meg (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (64132) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML

#2851443 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (41424) - you deserved it (1867)

On 06/13/2009 at 3:10am - love - by slukaa (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiance's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (50991) - you deserved it (2714)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (50075) - you deserved it (2040)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had just a few dominoes left to complete the whole project that I've been working on for about three weeks. I pressed record on my video camera, flicked the first domino, and watched with pride. When it finished, I realized I hadn't actually pressed record. FML

#2766675 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (21774)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by DamnDominoes (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (9764) - you deserved it (37411)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663 (447)

I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (39081)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)