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hobozrule

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  • Number of visits : 4614
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About hobozrule : Awesome

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Visits<b>Redundant_Idiot</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:58pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:33pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 11:57pm

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hobozrule's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70661) - you deserved it (15324)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

#15408372
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (6220)

On 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34709) - you deserved it (48687)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34854) - you deserved it (4340)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46128) - you deserved it (3855)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46801) - you deserved it (8186)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

#15395122
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53821) - you deserved it (4130)

On 03/20/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48370) - you deserved it (7854)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

#15379416
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52864) - you deserved it (7779)

On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10342) - you deserved it (61032)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

#15373244
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45030) - you deserved it (5303)

On 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm - animals - by SpideyFace (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

#15362432
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19994) - you deserved it (29748)

On 03/18/2011 at 1:32am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18222) - you deserved it (82864)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished and turned in the last of the seventeen major projects for the company I work for. As I was walking out of my bosses office, I hear her ask her assistant "She finished everything we didn't want to do, can we fire her now?" FML

#15356107
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35241) - you deserved it (2683)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:37pm - work - by inpuredeceit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43965) - you deserved it (8697)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)



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