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hobbsicle805

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hobbsicle805
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 486
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hobbsicle805's favorite FMLs

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32576) - you deserved it (2656)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

#17261824
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (8021)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after working all day and putting in hours of overtime, I realized I never clocked in. FML

#17137243
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (16448)

On 07/16/2011 at 3:19pm - work - by Brian - United States

Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML

#16268222
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52701) - you deserved it (12056)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Emma-Louise (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57565) - you deserved it (4485)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (11792)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

#15873960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (8484)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16064) - you deserved it (71518)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12631) - you deserved it (33317)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (6398)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (45478)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

#14716762
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (3045)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by SLOMan90 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66236) - you deserved it (3485)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

#14297992
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36169) - you deserved it (3476)

On 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by screwed (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up late for work, and got sick at work twice; when I got home I discovered I'd paid my cable bill late when I got cut off. When my girlfriend came over, the first thing she said was "Do you know about the graffiti on your car?" FML

#14258015
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (2715)

On 12/19/2010 at 6:29am - misc - by byepolar_bare (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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