hnsblue

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hnsblue

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3729
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About hnsblue : Reading, doodling, Netflix, Black Veil Brides, Falling in Reverse, Dream Theater, 80's hair bands, Hanging with friends, Roller Skating, Playing Halo

Kik: hnsblue

hnsblue's page activity

Visits<b>srudez</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:31pm<b>TheNewMirage</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 3:35am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 2:26pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 1:19pm<b>stj5249</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 12:43pm<b>thentaniasaid</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 2:59am<b>caqs</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 8:25pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 8:57pm<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 8:14am<b>matty112422</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:24am<b>Denny1</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 4:32pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 4:49pm<b>c_note21</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:41pm<b>Bano360</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 9:37pm<b>Tommiix</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:51pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:26am<b>FrostyKittens</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:47am<b>woiz</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 7:24pm

hnsblue's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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hnsblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm / United Kingdom (Wrexham) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML

by Xpload / 01/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

by just the tip, though / 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

by Pooper scooper / 01/28/2014 at 3:22am / Guam / Animals

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

by knobbed / 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, after working 12 hours, my scooter broke down 2 miles from home. I had to walk myself and my scooter home all uphill. My boyfriend and his friends drove by, honked and kept going. FML

by shanannygians07 / 01/26/2014 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2014 at 12:10am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:28am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

by DJ / 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy