Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About hllnz0469 : Man, how did you end up here? Well, since you're already here and you have nothing better to do, learn some stuff about me :)
1. My name is Karly and sometimes it pisses me off because I can never find my name on those key chain thingies at gift shops.
2. I LOVE football, but only pro, no college. I'm from Baltimore, so the Ravens are a given :) Jacoby Jones is DA FREAKING BOMB.
2. I'm a huge grammar nazi. Mistakes in that regard make me want to stab my screen.
3. I read FMLs on the app to make me feel better about my life ;)
4. I live in Colorado and I am slightly socially awkward, but I do actually have friends.
5. I have 2 younger brothers, 2 big dogs, 3 horses, and 5 chickens.
6. I realize that you are bored reading about me and you really don't care at all, so this is the last fact.
Message me if you want to talk, I won't bite :) No, I do not have Kik and will never have one, I'm more of an iFunny kinda person.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
Monday 23 February 2015