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hlhsoccer

Offline (the 08/09/2014 at 10:26am) | Search for a member

hlhsoccer

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  • Number of visits : 93
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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hlhsoccer's favorite FMLs

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#19996782
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (31360)

On 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

#19995981
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25895) - you deserved it (2521)

On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

#19995813
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (3537)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML

#19995807
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20416) - you deserved it (1783)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Goblin Girl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (2796)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56395) - you deserved it (10333)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (1385)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

#19995117
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21017) - you deserved it (1647)

On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

#19994550
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18490) - you deserved it (2025)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)

Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML

#19994423
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (5423)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a root canal. It wouldn't have been that bad if the dentist hadn't performed it on the wrong tooth. FML

#19994415
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25721) - you deserved it (1463)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

#19696730
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (2445)

On 05/29/2012 at 12:06am - kids - by The Bearded Woman (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML

#19476471
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23209) - you deserved it (2569)

On 04/16/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by penny-dropping - United States

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML



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