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hjnd2396

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hjnd2396

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  • Number of visits : 79
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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hjnd2396's FML badges

50 favourites

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YDI master

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hjnd2396's favorite FMLs

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18725) - you deserved it (24713)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (2385)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33350) - you deserved it (9599)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34173) - you deserved it (10443)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (7368)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34035) - you deserved it (3370)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (3052)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37040) - you deserved it (5868)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35263) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32265) - you deserved it (3425)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35662) - you deserved it (3643)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (272) - you deserved it (2676)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (5575)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35951) - you deserved it (3369)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)



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