About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.
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hippo1234's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
by danman / 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML
by reallythough / 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
by great idea / 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by drama king? / 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids
by nottoosmall / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by ItsAnanya / 04/02/2013 at 11:34am / India (Delhi) / Love
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
by ak_6694 / 04/02/2013 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by jll14 / 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm / Malaysia (Sabah) / Miscellaneous
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
by dumb tourists / 03/31/2013 at 2:19am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
by crunknasty / 03/30/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in… Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring… Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I…