About hippo1234 : Ummm, I'm a female. I like bad puns and sarcasm. My dog is a Springer Spaniel.
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hippo1234's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
by danman / 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML
by reallythough / 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
by great idea / 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by drama king? / 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids
by nottoosmall / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by ItsAnanya / 04/02/2013 at 11:34am / India (Delhi) / Love
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
by ak_6694 / 04/02/2013 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by jll14 / 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm / Malaysia (Sabah) / Miscellaneous
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
by dumb tourists / 03/31/2013 at 2:19am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
by crunknasty / 03/30/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the… Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I… Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML